I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
