do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
