i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
