Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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