I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
