and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
