im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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