New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
