It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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