so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
