So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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