In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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