just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
