i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
