we're chasing vodka with high fives
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
