The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
