If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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