I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
