I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
