Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am puke
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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