Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
