I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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