If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
