she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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