I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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