Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
