I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
