Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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