This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
