This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
