you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
