D3 body, D1 cock
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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