Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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