i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My liver just had a heart attack.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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