it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
