Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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