do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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