she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
