there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
