Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
