I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's always time for handjobs
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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