he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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