508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
