I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
