So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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