I want to stick my p in your. b.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
