Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
