How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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