and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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