The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
