I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
