I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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