omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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